How to keep calm and stay positive when your child won’t listen to you!

All parents come under pressure to know exactly what to do and how to raise their children to be the best versions of themselves. But how do you actually do this? You aren’t given a manual at birth, and parents are bombarded with so much conflicting information it makes teasing out the good stuff almost impossible. Don’t worry, after years of experience, learning and investing in myself (and trying several things out on my own children- sorry guys!) I have the answer!  And the good news is I’m sharing exactly how I Parent my children in a Positive way that enables me to remain calm and empowers my children to make the right choices.

My Approach: Positive, Present Parenting, is about focusing on the relationships we have with ourselves and our children and ultimately teaching them how to become independent, confident and resilient people. I emphasise the importance of self awareness because really parenting is about who we are as the parent and how we respond and react, rather than the focus being on the child. It is our responsibility as parents to be aware of how our own childhood and personality might influence how we treat our children, and acknowledge that it’s ok to show our feelings, to know that we don’t always have to be right and that we can learn a lot from our little people.

My Parenting approach does just that and I’ve come up with an easy way for you to remember the key points.  The 6 C’s to Positive, Present Parenting, and I’ve briefly outlined each one below:

Consciousness - Self awareness and working on our own personal development so that we can embrace our strengths, identify where we might need more support and understand why certain things our child does seem to really annoy us.

Connection - Your relationship with your child. It is so important to develop a strong connection as a relationship based on trust, a sense of belonging and significance gives you the ideal foundations to overcome challenges, conflicts and emotions, and will ultimately lead to your child making the right choices because they want to.

Compassion - You must be kind to yourself! We are living in difficult times and even without this uncertainty being a parent is hard work. We need to remember we are only human and not to put too much pressure on ourselves (or our little people). Finding time for self care and recharging is a must and something I am very passionate about.

Communication - Conversations with your child and the adults helping you to co-parent and everything in between; your body language, your inner voice, the narratives you tell yourself and how that influences your child. It all needs to be considered carefully and focused around positivity.

Consequences - These enable us to teach our children boundaries and to give them power within safe limits. If you’ve ever found yourself in a power battle with your child (who hasnt’?!) you will know that you can’t make them do or say anything and that ultimately the choice lies with them. To help our children make the right decisions we need to ensure the consequences we set are logical, relevant and fair, and there’s a lot more to getting consequences right than you first think.

Finally Consistency - A reminder that this is a way of life. It’s about adopting a Parenting Style that suits you and your family and making it part of your every day habits and routines. Children thrive when they know what is expected of them and we do too! I can help you to reframe your thoughts, tweak your behaviours and encourage healthy, happy choices for your family which makes parenting enjoyable and a lot less stressful!